


Chasing Infinity

by leporidae



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Astronomy, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Seung-gil Zine, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 09:18:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19742704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leporidae/pseuds/leporidae
Summary: Seung-gil has his own personal universe, the one he lives out every day. It is a universe of which he is the center and the events of his life are simply in his orbit. And in Seung-gil’s universe, Phichit is far from meaningless — he illuminates his life with all the warmth and intensity of a sun.





	Chasing Infinity

**Author's Note:**

> About a year ago now I was invited to take part in the Seung-gil Zine, [Mujigae.](https://twitter.com/seunggilzine/) It was an honor honestly, even though I'm not actively writing YoI content at the moment? Maybe in the future when there's a new season/new official content. (Please don't hold me to this statement, haha.) I think I finished this drabble back in October, so it's nice to finally be able to post and share it.
> 
> The zine was divided into colors, and my color was violet which represented spirit. I went with a pretty loose interpretation of both the color and the prompt. More than anything it's sort of... a feeling? Spirit can really be anything I feel, whether it's a person's fighting spirit, or their essence — or even taken literally, the "spirits" of people of the past, or in this case the spirits of myths and tales that have been passed down. Colors on the blue to violet part of the rainbow invoke nighttime to me as well, though in my heart of hearts perhaps I just wanted to write a stargazing scene and bent it to fit the prompt a little. Maybe.
> 
> Thank you for supporting my portrayal of Seung-gil even after all this time, and thank you for the opportunity to take part in such a beautiful zine for my favorite character from the series. Seriously, every piece is gorgeous.

“I still can’t believe you’re into stargazing,” Phichit hums, leaning up against Seung-gil’s side as he intertwines their fingers. “I’m learning more and more about you every day.”

Seung-gil huffs but says nothing, eyes trained on the glittery expanse of the sky. Stargazing had been Seung-gil’s suggestion, one that had surprised Phichit. _Wow, you’re such a romantic,_ Phichit had teased, and Seung-gil’s cheeks had flushed as he grumbled in protest. But of course Phichit had agreed to the outing enthusiastically, happy to spend time with his boyfriend regardless of what they’re doing (which honestly embarrasses Seung-gil even more).

On the trek to the viewing spot they had watched the sunset dissolve through the colors of the rainbow, from pastel oranges and pinks to murky blues and violets, giving way to the inky black of the night. But that had simply been an opening act for the main show, the celestial tapestry unfurling above them.

The vastness of space can be measured and quantified by numbers and physics, but it can’t be contained. Its limits lie outside the comprehension of human thought, a concept which has always both excited and chilled Seung-gil. Space is infinity, and infinity is not a static concept in mathematics; there are small and large infinities, and the impossibility of space has the potential to be one of the largest infinities of them all. In this universe, Seung-gil is but one life form — no, that’s not quite right: he and Phichit together are a _pair_ of life forms, two insignificant specks amidst a universe whose sheer mass makes their existence meaningless in the grand scheme of the cosmos.

But Seung-gil has his own personal universe, the one he lives out every day. It is a universe of which he is the center and the events of his life are simply in his orbit. And in Seung-gil’s universe, Phichit is far from _meaningless_ — he illuminates his life with all the warmth and intensity of a sun.

Seung-gil prods Phichit gently, shoving away his own sappy thoughts. “Do you see that bright star?”

“Which one? All of them look bright right now.”

Seung-gil rolls his eyes. “This one,” he clarifies while pointing, leaning his face against Phichit’s to approximate his eye level. Their cheeks are touching, but Seung-gil is far past feeling awkward about such levels of contact in their relationship. “The one in line with my finger, Sirius. It’s the brightest star in the sky. Well, the brightest star in the sky from the perspective of Earth, anyway, but that’s another matter entirely.”

Phichit squints. “Oh, the one that’s flickering?”

Seung-gil nods. “Technically all stars flicker, but it’s more noticeable with Sirius because it’s so bright.” In an instant his professorial voice has switched on, as though he’s standing in front of a blackboard in a lecture hall, detailing the basics of astronomy. “Sometimes, it looks as though it’s flashing many different colors, because white light is composed of the rest of the color spectrum. Because of that, it’s sometimes called a rainbow star.” Aware he’s begun to ramble, Seung-gil coughs sheepishly. “I’m boring you, aren’t I?”

Chuckling, Phichit nudges his shoulder with his own. “Not at all. Maybe you should become a teacher or something. Hearing you talk passionately about things is really cute.” When Seung-gil blushes, Phichit adds: “A rainbow star, huh? Seems perfect for you, since you did dress up like a flamboyant parrot that one time.”

“Not only that,” Seung-gil continues matter-of-factly, refusing to let himself get derailed by Phichit’s gentle ribbing, “but Sirius is also called the Dog Star, because it is a part of the constellation Canis Major, or the ‘big dog.’ As a child, it was always my favorite constellation… of course.” It’s no mystery that Seung-gil has always been fascinated with dogs, whether they are tangible or in the sky. “In Greek mythology, Canis Major is said to represent Laelaps, a dog who always caught what he hunted. Even now Canis Major chases other constellations as the stars cycle across the sky, always in pursuit, but never quite catching up.”

“Oh. Hmm.” When Seung-gil scowls at the indifferent response, Phichit backtracks hurriedly. “Ah — no, no, I promise I think it’s interesting! I just don’t really know what to say or add. It’s not like I know much about this stuff myself. Really, I prefer just listening to you talk.”

Even as Phichit tries to do damage control, Seung-gil retreats back to his thoughts, musing over his own words. _Always in pursuit, but never quite catching up._ Seung-gil glances sideways at his boyfriend then, bitterly relating the phrase to his own experiences as a skater. Again he pictures Phichit at the Grand Prix, every bit the prince in his glittering garb as he charmed the audience with his smile. Phichit had captivated his audience from the moment he stepped onto that stage in all his radiant glory. Regardless of his score or final ranking in the competition, everyone would remember Phichit Chulanont, the impression he’d made as he shouldered Thailand’s pride.

Phichit had been so far away from him back then. Seung-gil had watched the broadcast with an ever-present sense of dread, miserably regarding the sprawling distance between them. Making it to that stage to stand beside him may as well be a pipe dream at this point.

“Seung-gil?”

At Phichit’s inquiry he snaps back to attention, the fog of disillusionment lifting. “Ah. My apologies — did you say something in the last minute? I’m afraid I spaced out a little…”

Phichit shakes his head. “No, it’s not that. I was just worried, ‘cause you looked really sad all of a sudden.”

“You must have been imagining things,” Seung-gil says curtly, but he can’t manage eye contact.

“You were thinking about the story you told me, weren’t you?” As usual, Phichit sees right through him no matter what he tries to do to obfuscate his thoughts, and Seung-gil sighs, resting his chin on Phichit’s shoulder. It’s an unspoken confirmation, but one Phichit will understand. And he does, running a hand gently through Seung-gil’s hair and studying his face with softness in his eyes. “You’ll reach it.”

Seung-gil swallows. “Reach — reach what?” he asks, nervous to hear the answer.

“Whatever you’re chasing,” Phichit says cryptically, but his smile after seems like an answer itself.

Overhead the stars twinkle like lanterns. “I’m not sure what I’m chasing,” he confesses.

“You don’t have to know that right now,” Phichit says, exasperated. “We’re both still young. And if all your other plans fall through,” he adds with a tinge of mischief in his smirk, “you can come to Thailand with me and put on that ice show I told you about. Nothing says ‘chasing your dreams’ like skating around in a cute hamster hat, right?”

“Well, I can see what it is _you_ want to reach,” Seung-gil says grumpily, but when Phichit laughs and pulls him in for a kiss, the universe becomes small, within his grasp.

It becomes _his._


End file.
